I’m pretty sure most grown ladies will agree with me on this one: One’s girl-friends are important. As a military spouse, I have the luxury – and the heartache – of having the very deep understanding of their importance… because I have to say “good bye” (or “see ya later,” or “fair winds and following seas,” or “’til next time,” or whatever phrase we use to pretend the leaving isn’t so bad when really it is gut-wrenchingly horrible) to my dear girl-friends much too often. But I don’t want to write about the difficult part of these friendships tonight. I want to think of all the ways that my girl-friends are important to me.
Regardless if you are a stay-at-home military spouse, or full-time working civilian spouse, or not a spouse at all, young or old… if you are a grown-up lady, then having true friends is quite possibly one of the most important elements in your life. Let me give you my definition of “true friend”:
True Friend: /trū frend/ noun
- Someone who lets you be exactly who you are… and even applauds you for it.
- Someone who lets you be exactly who you are… and doesn’t judge you for it.
- Someone who lets you be exactly who you are… and encourages you to be more “you.”
- Someone who loves you for who you are… but will give you a quick kick in the behind when you need to stop being the not-so-great version of “you.”
The tricky part of finding a True Friend, is finding someone who can encompass all four definitions. One person. All four. It’s pretty awesome when you come across one.
These are the friends who won’t mind when you have a complete and total meltdown because your DVR did not actually record one of your very important televisions shows (namely, Real Housewives of Orange County). They will sit in the car with you and make up horrendous (I’m not kidding… HORRENDOUS) rap songs. They will send you long text messages filled with Emojis because that is your favorite form of communication. They will dress-up for your theme parties… and not complain about it. They will call you immediately when they find out one of your family members is sick to see what they can do to be helpful. They will celebrate with you and cry with you and maybe do both in the same night. They will know and love your babies almost as much as you do. Well maybe some of those are particular to what my True Friends have done/continue to do for me (perhaps not everyone prefers to speak emoji and make up rap songs while dressed-up at a Real Housewives theme party… but you should really try it, if you haven’t!).
But seriously, these friends are able to make you a better version of you; they cheer you through the good times and pull you through the bad times. Without these friendships, life would be less fun and less full. These friendships help you be a better spouse, daughter, and friend to others. Without these friendships, the rest of the world would never have a chance to see all the potential in you shining through the (sometimes) clouded version of you.
True Friends also allow you to be that murky version when life is tough and busy and brutal. These friendships survive months and maybe even years with minimal phone calls and conversations. They survive on the knowledge that the bond between the two friends can withstand time and silence and un-answered phone calls or texts. The breaks between conversations and birthday cards are not filled with resentment and hurt feelings. The space is filled with understanding and love. They find each other on the other side of those silences and they pick-up right where they left off with forgiveness and grace and a desire to make the bond stronger than it ever was before.
I’m super lucky to have some great awesome top-notch (okay there really isn’t a word that can encompass the amazingness of my friends!) TRUE FRIENDS. I am thankful for each and every one of them every single day. TRULY. So I say “thank you” to each of my true friends for loving me and applauding me and encouraging me and kicking my behind when I need it. Thank you for forgiving me and welcoming me back when time zones and children and life keep me away. You are so very important to me!
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”